Monday, August 09, 2004
Fumbling and Floundering
It's 3 am, my friends are at a bar, and I am home alone, it's so very tranquil here tonight. I am sitting in my living room, looking out the window at the street lights reflecting off the Mira river, the sky is brilliantly lit with the stars and the sharp crescent of the moon.
The thoughts that are jumbling and tumbling through my head, threaten to overthrow my sanity, to spill out of my head. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else thinks the same way about things as I, does everyone perceive things in the same manner as me? Perhaps my means of approaching situations, or reacting to them, is radically different from that of someone else's.
I am trying let my nails grow, I must discontinue biting them as much as I was accustom, a major change of habit, which is always a struggle. Biting my fingernails is a very disgusting vice, one that I have no recollection of when it commenced.
I was very sick when I woke up today, I was weak and have remained light headed all day, I didn't make it to work, which blows because I probably missed out on 50-100$. I hate my present lack of funds.
What am I searching for, where is this journey leading? I believe I am beginning to understand the phrase "hypocritical narcissist" and how it applies to me.
The thoughts that are jumbling and tumbling through my head, threaten to overthrow my sanity, to spill out of my head. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else thinks the same way about things as I, does everyone perceive things in the same manner as me? Perhaps my means of approaching situations, or reacting to them, is radically different from that of someone else's.
I am trying let my nails grow, I must discontinue biting them as much as I was accustom, a major change of habit, which is always a struggle. Biting my fingernails is a very disgusting vice, one that I have no recollection of when it commenced.
I was very sick when I woke up today, I was weak and have remained light headed all day, I didn't make it to work, which blows because I probably missed out on 50-100$. I hate my present lack of funds.
What am I searching for, where is this journey leading? I believe I am beginning to understand the phrase "hypocritical narcissist" and how it applies to me.
