Sunday, June 27, 2004
Please Excuse the following:
The thing I hate most about being a girl, occurred twice this month, hence the garble that is about to be spewn forth at each and every one of you who dares to read this.
Have I mentioned how some days I hate being a “girl” and today is one of those days, I don’t normally call myself a “girl”, it doesn’t really suit me, then again nothing does lately.
It would be great if I could actually be the bitch I like people to think I am, the wall that I hide behind, well it’s been down a little to much lately. I never listen to my own advice, which is pretty horrid cause I give great advice.
Did I ever tell you I usually have the best intentions, I mean for things to work out well, that I have no control over my emotions or actions some times. Especially today, I almost cried because we ran out of hot chocolate at work, like who the fuck cries over shit like that, a girl does, that’s fucking who.
I also have no control over my raging hormones that flutter from one male to the next, I have a wondering eye, part of the reason I can not settle, I don’t stay interested long enough. I like a guy one day, and just want to hang out with him the next, or else find him completely repulsive. Though part of me aches to have my heart broken, just once, I never have you know, it sounds foolish, but at least if it broke, I would know that I had been in love.
This is going no where fast, I can’t give you the back ground story but needless to say, I am in a state of confusion. Last week I was certain I knew where my future lay, where I was going, who I would be travelling there with, when it would happen. There’s been a fork in the road, some potholes, and even a few other curves, so now here I sit, overly emotional, wondering…. What the fuck now?
On a side note, I have an opportunity to go to OZZFEST in Boston in 2 weeks, and all I have to do is pay for the ticket and my own meals. I doubt I could get the time off work, but if I can, could I go with two Metal heads in a car for god knows how many hours, and then spend 4 days in hotels room with them? Then again it is OZZFEST, Judas Priest, Slayer, Black Sabbath, who could ask for more?
Oh and everyone is moving away including a few of my super close friends, I think I will be shedding a lot of tears the next few weeks, damn you boys all to hell.
Have I mentioned how some days I hate being a “girl” and today is one of those days, I don’t normally call myself a “girl”, it doesn’t really suit me, then again nothing does lately.
It would be great if I could actually be the bitch I like people to think I am, the wall that I hide behind, well it’s been down a little to much lately. I never listen to my own advice, which is pretty horrid cause I give great advice.
Did I ever tell you I usually have the best intentions, I mean for things to work out well, that I have no control over my emotions or actions some times. Especially today, I almost cried because we ran out of hot chocolate at work, like who the fuck cries over shit like that, a girl does, that’s fucking who.
I also have no control over my raging hormones that flutter from one male to the next, I have a wondering eye, part of the reason I can not settle, I don’t stay interested long enough. I like a guy one day, and just want to hang out with him the next, or else find him completely repulsive. Though part of me aches to have my heart broken, just once, I never have you know, it sounds foolish, but at least if it broke, I would know that I had been in love.
This is going no where fast, I can’t give you the back ground story but needless to say, I am in a state of confusion. Last week I was certain I knew where my future lay, where I was going, who I would be travelling there with, when it would happen. There’s been a fork in the road, some potholes, and even a few other curves, so now here I sit, overly emotional, wondering…. What the fuck now?
On a side note, I have an opportunity to go to OZZFEST in Boston in 2 weeks, and all I have to do is pay for the ticket and my own meals. I doubt I could get the time off work, but if I can, could I go with two Metal heads in a car for god knows how many hours, and then spend 4 days in hotels room with them? Then again it is OZZFEST, Judas Priest, Slayer, Black Sabbath, who could ask for more?
Oh and everyone is moving away including a few of my super close friends, I think I will be shedding a lot of tears the next few weeks, damn you boys all to hell.
