Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Rejection
Saturday night, I went into Herman's with some friends, expecting to meet up with some other people, who didn't show due to fights with boyfriends, bad reactions to chemicals, or just plain lack of funds.
I was fairly intoxicated by the time I arrived at the doors, I proceeded to ingest 2 more beers, for added courage, before heading towards the table the "guy" was seated at. I knew one of the group having worked with him, and talked to him a lot at work, I was going to slide up to the table begin conversation with him, and then use that as a segue into talking to the guy. As I approached the group though, the guy from work I knew was heading towards me, I explained the situation and he accompanied me back to the table where conveniently enough there was an extra chair next to the "guy". I sat down and it took me a good 15 minutes to talk to the "guy", whom I chat with regularly on messenger, but intimidates me immensely in person.
I had a wonderful conversation with all 4 of the guys seated at the table, three of whom I found attractive, I laughed, drank a few more beers and had a superbly enjoyable time.
I noticed the "guy" seemed distant and withdrawn, with his arms crossed most of the time, this could be partially due to the fact I conversed mainly with the guy I knew from work.
Well the next afternoon I was chatting with the "guy" on messenger, I was at my friend's house, and I wanted to ask him if he was interested because I had gotten a pretty clear indication the previous evening that he was not. I asked her to write what I wanted to say, and if his response was negative to close the box, and tell me she had forgotten what he had written. She graciously complied and wrote the crazy nervous rant, then read me his reply, which explain he wished to be honest and was not interested, but he did so in a kind manner.
Then I sat down and explained to him that I still wished to chat with him, this guy is too enjoyable to pass up communicating with, and then he said one of the sweetest things. "I apologize if I have hurt you in any way".
I have an immense fear of rejection (though considering it is commonplace for me lol, I shouldn't) but for him to be gentle, considering I was rather smitten….. Well it was a grand relief.
I am doomed to be attracted to guys who I know I cannot be with, it's tragic, but it could be worse, I could be in a relationship with some love sick fool.
I was fairly intoxicated by the time I arrived at the doors, I proceeded to ingest 2 more beers, for added courage, before heading towards the table the "guy" was seated at. I knew one of the group having worked with him, and talked to him a lot at work, I was going to slide up to the table begin conversation with him, and then use that as a segue into talking to the guy. As I approached the group though, the guy from work I knew was heading towards me, I explained the situation and he accompanied me back to the table where conveniently enough there was an extra chair next to the "guy". I sat down and it took me a good 15 minutes to talk to the "guy", whom I chat with regularly on messenger, but intimidates me immensely in person.
I had a wonderful conversation with all 4 of the guys seated at the table, three of whom I found attractive, I laughed, drank a few more beers and had a superbly enjoyable time.
I noticed the "guy" seemed distant and withdrawn, with his arms crossed most of the time, this could be partially due to the fact I conversed mainly with the guy I knew from work.
Well the next afternoon I was chatting with the "guy" on messenger, I was at my friend's house, and I wanted to ask him if he was interested because I had gotten a pretty clear indication the previous evening that he was not. I asked her to write what I wanted to say, and if his response was negative to close the box, and tell me she had forgotten what he had written. She graciously complied and wrote the crazy nervous rant, then read me his reply, which explain he wished to be honest and was not interested, but he did so in a kind manner.
Then I sat down and explained to him that I still wished to chat with him, this guy is too enjoyable to pass up communicating with, and then he said one of the sweetest things. "I apologize if I have hurt you in any way".
I have an immense fear of rejection (though considering it is commonplace for me lol, I shouldn't) but for him to be gentle, considering I was rather smitten….. Well it was a grand relief.
I am doomed to be attracted to guys who I know I cannot be with, it's tragic, but it could be worse, I could be in a relationship with some love sick fool.
