Saturday, March 20, 2004
Give me strength!
I need courage! It's funny how I could look a three hundred pound, drunk man in the face and tell him to get the fuck out of the bar, when I was a bartender, yet, when I need to approach a member of the opposite sex to ask them out to a movie or dinner, I cower. Why is this?
I guess because I am a social retard! It's rather irritating most days, considering most people perceive me as being fairly outgoing and confident, when I get quiet or shy it comes across as snobbery or lack of interest.
I am moving my desk today, getting a different supervisor, a new desk, and the best part... On Monday I start my new shift, and I couldn't be happier. I know it seems ridiculous but I have been wanting to work from 3-12 since I started, I am not a morning person by any means, I like to stay up all night and "howl at the moon" so to speak. So a night shift is perfect and working three to twelve I don't have to "close the queue" which is something new and exciting for me.
I was re-hashing experiences with old boyfriends today, writing in my online diary, a message to my cousin, Shannon, she is having some concerns about relationships and friends getting involved. I have come to realize, I have been pretty fortunate in my past relationships, never anyone abusive or a cheater, I was only dumped once and it was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I also met a few good friends through exes, and even keep in touch with a couple of exes, and would gladly hook them up with one of my friends.
I was also talking to one of my friends who I was pursuing a relationship with a few months ago, a friend of mine had approached him, he had said he wasn't interested in a realtionship, I was a little hurt. I discovered today in conversation with him, that it wasn't me, he had just gotten out of a poor relationship and didn't want to pursue one so quickly thereafter. I feel better about the whole situation, and he is a fantastic friend.
Well I will shut up and post this thing before I end up rambling about other bizarre things again.
I guess because I am a social retard! It's rather irritating most days, considering most people perceive me as being fairly outgoing and confident, when I get quiet or shy it comes across as snobbery or lack of interest.
I am moving my desk today, getting a different supervisor, a new desk, and the best part... On Monday I start my new shift, and I couldn't be happier. I know it seems ridiculous but I have been wanting to work from 3-12 since I started, I am not a morning person by any means, I like to stay up all night and "howl at the moon" so to speak. So a night shift is perfect and working three to twelve I don't have to "close the queue" which is something new and exciting for me.
I was re-hashing experiences with old boyfriends today, writing in my online diary, a message to my cousin, Shannon, she is having some concerns about relationships and friends getting involved. I have come to realize, I have been pretty fortunate in my past relationships, never anyone abusive or a cheater, I was only dumped once and it was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I also met a few good friends through exes, and even keep in touch with a couple of exes, and would gladly hook them up with one of my friends.
I was also talking to one of my friends who I was pursuing a relationship with a few months ago, a friend of mine had approached him, he had said he wasn't interested in a realtionship, I was a little hurt. I discovered today in conversation with him, that it wasn't me, he had just gotten out of a poor relationship and didn't want to pursue one so quickly thereafter. I feel better about the whole situation, and he is a fantastic friend.
Well I will shut up and post this thing before I end up rambling about other bizarre things again.
