WELCOME TO THE JAMIE SHOW!

I sincerely apologize to everyone who I didn't mention personally by name! I could go on and list every single person who I have ever been friends with or have spoken too on messenger, or every single indiviual who has read/commented on my blog.

But that would probably bore you all to tears, and I would still end up forgetting someone. Though it would be fun... hrmm

So if you think you should have been mentioned, please insert your name here ____________________! Thanks!

I have no energy today, I was up this morning rather sick between 7-9 am, and did not sleep very well thereafter, this has caused some crankiness and me to feel rather blue.

I wore my suit, the one I wear when I am either having a bad day/ or know I am going to have a bad day. This suit makes me feel more confident, slimmer, and very dominant!

I am thinking about dying my hair a wild color for the summer... Suggestions welcome!

I just got VTO!

Well the last few days have been rather indescribable, now for a girl who likes to be fairly descriptive in her writing, and she can't explain the last few days........

I will repeat, (for clarification purposes) that I am a selfish, self-absorbed BITCH!

When you read my rants bear this in mind, It's NOT intentional, my life is called "The Jamie Show" for a reason, I get going and planning and doing and forget.

I forget about all the people who make my life possible, right down the the assholes who call me and bitch in my ear, without them I wouldn't have this job.

I have super friends like Erica, who can be pretty blunt and honest, and sometimes is rather harsh in her judgments of people, but for some strange reason we get along. She has been a major source of financial support lately, lending me a bit of cash here and there, and when I was stressed a smoke too. She also helped me hop around after I broke my foot.

Tracey and Shane have also been there to lend some money, and have been patient, when I haven't been able to return it as quickly as expected.

I have Georgina who I call in the middle of the night when I didn't get up the nerve to kiss a guy, and feel like a jackass and she relates a similar experience, or tells me something absolutely crazy to cheer me up.

Kelly, who will come and drag me out of the hospital, cast and all, and make sure I get home safe and sound, and always has positive thoughts for me.

There are many others who come and go, who I don't see for days weeks, months, Davinna, Cory, Tanya, Steve, Aileen, Ryan, Cindy... who I bump into at work, at the bar, get a message on my phone, an email or call their answering machine in the middle of the night when I have run out of places to turn.

The person who has been the most dependable lately, who has been there over and over again, who lets me yell at him and laughs, my brother, I owe him my soul by now. He has the patience of a saint, and I owe him a million apologies.

My parents as always are my rock, the foundation in my life that keeps me from truly going off the deep end.

There are some really good people in this little island, I have found a few real gems, and I am constantly shocked when people mentioned that they read this site. I am rambling away and have lost track of my thoughts.

I have gone out with the guy every night since Wednesday I am still not sure where this is going and if he is a lunatic for dating me. Things are indescribable as I mentioned above, I will continue to keep you posted, at my own discretion.

So much to say, have no idea what to say, except this, went out with him, it was great, we both chickened out on the kiss goodnight, I kicked myself in the ass. We are going out again tonight, to play pool. I can't believe how shy I am around him.

The worse part is I know he is going to read this, and too many of you know him, and my Mom reads this so I can't dish too much dirt. A good girl doesn't kiss and tell........

I have no idea where this is going, and I think I will just sit back and enjoy the journey.

I went to court, a friend had to testify and wanted some company, we never slept, it was a crazy day. Her sister had been assaulted by her then-boyfriend and his attorney tried to said that she had assaulted him. Retards!

On the plus side I got called a "stupid whore" by a customer at work today while transferring a call to T3 (outside our building). Gotta love my job! The T3 was shocked, it took him a good 30 seconds to say hello, I was perturbed for a moment, and then just laughed it off. Stupid Americans! They call in for assistance, and harass the people trying to provide that help.

Only an hour left to go, I am supposed to raise my AHT, *snaps* to me for doing well this week, my quality average is great and my AHT was excellent. Now it's time for me to take over the building, the island, the UNIVERSE! Muhahahahah!

He said yes, we are going to do something tomorrow night!

I no longer feel like such an idiot, ( I still am one but don't feel like one lol).

Thanks for everyone's feedback (the positve and negative), to my last post, I am beginning to wonder how many people actually read this thing.

I get to venture into a court room tomorrow I am pretty excited about that, I haven't been in a court room in Cape Breton, I am willing to bet a lot of money that there will most definitely be some pretty colorful characters. I have to get up awfully early to attend court, so I have decided to forgo any sleep tonight, so I will be more alert and prepared, and I will also drink loads of hot chocolate with whipped cream to keep me bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I mean I wouldn't want to miss any of the sharp dressed attractive officers of the law, in their finest uniforms. I suffer from the "men in uniform drive me wild" fetish, like some of my more "interesting" friends. Hehehehehe!

It will certainly be an entertaining day!

Saturday:

What a crazy day. I decided today, I would ask the guy, out to a movie, or to shoot some pool.

I get to work and I get a message from a friend telling me she knows this guy who thinks I am cute, and he wants my email address to add me to his messenger. I ask who the guy is, even though I already had my eye on someone and had finally decided today was the day to gather up some courage, lose the fear of rejection and pose my question.

She tells me who the guy is, I am not interested in him, but she had already given him my email address, the box pops up and I foolishly click "ok you can talk to me, but if I don't like what you have to say I will block you" and he messages me all casually, and we chat, then comes the question I was expecting " want to go out and do something sometime.......

The exact same question (except for the wording) I had posed to guy not that long before, the message box was still blinking at the bottom, but I could not bare to click and see what the reply was.

I told the guy I was already pursuing something with someone else and did not want to mislead him. I mean it's the truth, it is so much nicer than I am not interested in you... cause that can hurt sometimes.

The message box is still blinking... oh god what if he says " No you big fat ugly cow, I would never want to go anywhere ever with you!" (not that he would cause like I have said in previous posts he's a pretty nice guy), but I do have an immense fear of rejection, pretty dumb of me...!

Monday:

I am sitting here, talking to the guy that I asked out the other day, on messenger. I love messenger because I can communicate with friends from all over the place, on a fairly regular basis, the only thing that I really hate about it, you CANNOT convey TONE. I, being a very sarcastic bitch, have a lot of difficulty with my inability to communicate simple everyday bits of humor, anger, disgust, and every other emotion.

So here's the question of the day... if you ask a guy out and he says I think about it.....

Does it mean

a) he isn't interested in going out with me EVER (cause that's what I think)

b) he actually needs time to evaluate the complexities of what going out, anywhere, with me would entail ( a silly girl told me that)

c) he may be concerned because he has a rather peculiar friendship with someone I know QUITE well (hehehehe a guy told me that)

d) he is stark raving mad in not immediately realize what a fantastical, superb, fine female I am ( that's the sarcastic bitch answer lol)

e) maybe he just realizes how stark raving mad I am, and decides that by not giving me a direct NO!, I won't go psycho...... ( cause that whole sentence made me sound normal...)

Yea leave opinion in comments!

I need courage! It's funny how I could look a three hundred pound, drunk man in the face and tell him to get the fuck out of the bar, when I was a bartender, yet, when I need to approach a member of the opposite sex to ask them out to a movie or dinner, I cower. Why is this?

I guess because I am a social retard! It's rather irritating most days, considering most people perceive me as being fairly outgoing and confident, when I get quiet or shy it comes across as snobbery or lack of interest.

I am moving my desk today, getting a different supervisor, a new desk, and the best part... On Monday I start my new shift, and I couldn't be happier. I know it seems ridiculous but I have been wanting to work from 3-12 since I started, I am not a morning person by any means, I like to stay up all night and "howl at the moon" so to speak. So a night shift is perfect and working three to twelve I don't have to "close the queue" which is something new and exciting for me.

I was re-hashing experiences with old boyfriends today, writing in my online diary, a message to my cousin, Shannon, she is having some concerns about relationships and friends getting involved. I have come to realize, I have been pretty fortunate in my past relationships, never anyone abusive or a cheater, I was only dumped once and it was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I also met a few good friends through exes, and even keep in touch with a couple of exes, and would gladly hook them up with one of my friends.

I was also talking to one of my friends who I was pursuing a relationship with a few months ago, a friend of mine had approached him, he had said he wasn't interested in a realtionship, I was a little hurt. I discovered today in conversation with him, that it wasn't me, he had just gotten out of a poor relationship and didn't want to pursue one so quickly thereafter. I feel better about the whole situation, and he is a fantastic friend.

Well I will shut up and post this thing before I end up rambling about other bizarre things again.

Read Brent's BLOG! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Especially read the story about Monopoly, cause it is the funniest story I have read in a long time.

Things are finally starting to go my way. I got my new shift at work, the one everyone swore I wouldn't end up getting. I will be working 3-12 with Fridays and Saturdays off, beginning on Sunday March 21st, do to scheduling conflicts I will have Sunday off, which is great because I have a date, with my Mom (lol) to see the Jesus movie.

Speaking of dates, theirs this guy, who I liked, who I always thought had a girlfriend, till this girl I know told me she wanted me to assist her in finding him a girlfriend, and then when I mentioned this to a trusted source, she said that she is pretty sure she knows who he has his eye on............ wow that was a long ramble that may not have made any sense, so anyway she told me that she is pretty certain he likes me. EKK! Now it is time for me to do what I normally do when I like someone and the potential comes that they might like me too, NOTHING... Or... get really loaded and tell them, which has had both positive and negative outcomes in the past, but is always an amusing tale to tell.

I have added some new links to some of my favorite blogs and other websites, if you have some time and want an interesting read, these sites are your ticket to adventure, btw if you read this and have a blog please leave a comment with your site. I am a blog addict, I love reading them, I love catching up, I could use the entertainment and mental stimulation.


I never ended up finding anyone to buy my plane tickets and now with the broken foot I do believe that I will try and have the tickets converted into credit for future flights, I am planning a trip to Saskatchewan again in July. It is their centennial anniversary and also a fun time to be there, plus just being around my crazy friends out there is always a good reason for the major dip into my finances, I am still trying to pay off my credit card bills from last summers many wild adventures.

Living paycheck to paycheck, Sucks ass, working for a company where everyday you head could be on the chopping block, Sucks. Having got go to work to pay for a car that you had to buy because you were hit by an asshole at work, Sucks. Knowing that accident happened while returning to work from your lunch hour, Sucks. Paying 3 times as much for car insurance compared to what you used to pay, because you moved to a new province, Sucks ass. When most of your friends make the same amount of money as you (10$ an hour) yet the day before pay you are all B-R-O-K-E, Sucks.

I could go on and on, and maybe I will some other day, but tonight I am going to have a few beers play some pool, and forget about my worries.

Have a magical weekend all.

What a long night, I only took 20 minutes for my lunch break, and because of the crazy stuff going on with the queue, it made the night drag on longer than usual.

I have come to realize that my first instinct when it comes to most people is usually the correct one, if I sense someone is bad news I am usually right. When I try and fight that and let them prove me wrong, they usually don't, which sometimes makes me kick myself in the ass.

I am in a melodramatic mood, I am supposed to drink tonight, I am not to sure if that is such a great idea, when I get in these bizarre moods almost anything could happen.

I hate people today!

So I spent the better part of the day enjoying this:

http://www.popcap.com/gamepopup.php?theGame=insaniquarium

it was stupid, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I also caught up on reading a few blogs I hadn't check out in a while, and chatting with some friends I haven't talked to in a long time. I am trying to plan my weekend, problem is, there is a storm supposedly brewing, a nasty ice storm. Which we are already starting to experience tonight, and if the one tomorrow is going to be worse it could be a very nasty and tragic day.

It should be an interesting weekend to say the least. One of my favorite people is having a party tomorrow night, and her parties are always amusing affairs to say the least, no matter how many people show up, her and I could sit there and have a few drinks and a lot of laughs. I am hoping to get out of work at a decent time, except I got into work today and we were 18 calls in queue and then it quickly rose to 135 calls in queue. It's 7 pm and there are three calls in queue, so who knows what the evening will bring.

I hate being a girl today!

I am in a slight dilemma, I have some tough choices to make the next few weeks, regarding work, finances and future opportunities.

I was discussing religion with a small group of people today, it was interesting because in that particular groups there were Catholics, Anglicans, Jehovah Witnesses, and many other denominations of various "Christian" faiths. We were discussing the Passion of the Christ, which I am hoping to go see on Sunday, and other aspects of religion and common misconceptions about certain religions.

I have been pondering my own faith lately, what do I believe in, how that coincides with what I was brought up to believe, how I can believe in something that some people have twisted so much that they believe being gay is something unforgivable and will banish these people from their places of "worship". Yet these people commit adultery, go to prisons looking to redeem murders and rapists, and allow child molesters to commit their crimes in their churches and schools for YEARS!

It's disgusting!

It shakes me to my core, these people who choose to make one sin worse than another, where it quotes in the Bible that all sins are created equal. To love thy neighbor, yet in Ireland they both believe in the same damn book and they kill one another constantly! DUMBASSES!

It's amusing to me, I quit attending church when I had pre-marital sex, I didn't want to be a hypocrite, I didn't want to go to church every Sunday, after having slept with my (then) boyfriend the night before, it seemed wrong to me. I used to be friends with people who went out partying on Saturday night, and sand in the church choir Sunday morning, now, I am far from perfect, but I just could not do that.

I am struggling to make sense of a world, that is completely senseless. I have so much compassion, I get so frustrated with this society we live in, the lack of consideration human beings have for one another. I really am a stupid tree hugging hippie you know, it's sad and pathetic, but I find it amusing how we spend more time and money on killing and caging one another, than we do on feeding and sheltering one another.

I am back to work, on a Saturday night, working till one, then going to watch some movies. Man Saturday nights working blows. The power went out tonight in town, the whole building was dark, except for the computer monitors for about 1 minute and then everything clicked on, and we probably lit up town like a Christmas light.

I have had a pretty quiet night here at work, and now I am off to watch some movies with friends.

I have the next two days off work and I have no plans except to get loads of sleep, and hope my foot gets un-broken quicker.

That's right folks, the cast was removed from my leg and foot today, and I now have what is called a "booty" which sounds gay, but is a thousand times better than a cast.

The LOA idea is out the window, mainly because the company I work for, well actually their insurance provider, RIPS PEOPLE OFF, they don't ever pay them the compensation.

I may have a semi-normal life again, now that i don't have to carry around the ugly weight of plaster.

Oh I have to go shave my leg(s) but especially the one that had the cast, I feel disgusting, and the skin is so dry and itchy, and the sun is shining today.

I have come to realize I bitch to much on my blog. I will try and be more positive with my ramblings.

I think I am going to hang out with my own superhero friend, Kelly, who rescued me last Tuesday from the evil clutches of the Glace Bay Hospital, with her two super friendly, side kicks, Eddie and Lee. She found me suitable transportation, someone to chauffeur me and my car to work, and a means of dragging my carcass around.

Tonight we take on the town!!!!!!!!!

It's five am, I have started to write this three time already, and I am not sure which direction it is going, I have a doctors appointment in a few short hours, I have to have my foot re-examined by a doctor. This one is supposed to be an orthopedic specialist (bone doctor).

So Kiara just popped online and pointed out something to me, she thought that I feel obligated to settle because of my age............... I don't, I just feel a lot of pressure lately from other people who have done so and believe it's in my best interest to do so. But you know what.......

FUCK THEM.

I have been chilling with this guy for the last two weeks, and I am just waiting to see where it goes, but I can tell you this for certain...... It ain't love!

So I am sitting at my parents house, in front of their computer which they just had upgraded, and I am contemplating all of the events of the last week, how little I accomplished, how terrified I felt to be back at square one, to be helpless again. Trapped so to speak, for those of you unaware I have a broken foot, and it is not the first broken limb I have had, but I sure hope it's the last.

Tomorrow is my parents 27 th wedding anniversary, and my mother gave my father a card that says, "after all ths time you are still as hot as pepperoni pizza". WEIRDOS! Except that is a very long story that I will save for another day.

My parents and I were talking at suppertime and I relaized this year I will be the same age as my mother was when she had me, and she had been married for four years.

This has caused me to re-evaluate my life, to sit in front of this monitor at 2:23 am on a Friday morning, with a doctor's visit quickly approaching it's 10:30 am appointment, in wonder and a pure state of confusion.

I am 22 years old, I am starting into my 23rd year on the planet, I have no children, no house, I am 3 months into the purchase of a new car, and everyday I think about returning it, because it represents a chain around my throat.

I have no serious romantic relationships, I have HAD no serious romantic relationships, the closest thing to it, was a relationship that lasted a year and 6 months (minus three days cause I broke up with him 2 days before Valentines). That was more just a good friends hanging out, having fun (well at least on my side), till he suggested settling down buying his parents house and getting married and I told him "Good Luck with THAT!!!!"

Well unless you take into consideration, Ryan, my quiet farm-boy friend from Saskatchewan, (that I briefly dated) who worships the ground I walk on and has made about three briefs trips out of THAT province, no farther than a few hundred kilometers from his home. I think, well I wish, I could be in love with him, cause it is clear to me that he adores me, but the thing is, I am far to dominant for him, and cannot settle down on a farm.

Now some of you are thinking why not get him to move here, and he would, but that would compromise my freedom, (man I am such a bitch) and it would be cruel and unfair to make him move, when I know he would only do so for my sake.

I sit here knowing I have never been in love, knowing I will never be one of those girls who flutters from guy to guy, telling them things that I truly don't believe in my heart. I am mean and callous, yet I have no bad past relationships to leave me this way, and my parents have set a superb example of a healthy relaitonship.

I know why I avoid relationships like a plague, because in the end there is only one relationship for me. It will sneak up on me when I least expect it, and when I am prepared, I will fall madly in love with that man, and it will be forever, and because I will not settle for anything less............

I have to wait it out, and try not to be a heartless bitch in the meantime.

WOW where in the hell did that come from????