Friday, October 17, 2003
Musings.......
Lyric:"I'll give you ten of your cities for Marion Bridge and the pleasure it brings."
Song: Out on the Mira
Written by: Allister MacGillivray
How true it is though..... I was on my way to my parents place tonight at about 1:30 am and I had a million thoughts flying through my head, about my life, my friends, my job, my car, my family, my health, my living arrangements, my addiction to nicotine........... and then I rounded the turn with all the reflectors....... and it settled over me gently........
CALM
I felt instantly at ease, the muddled thoughts drifted from my mind and I thought why am I worried about all this bullshit now why don't I just go home chat a bit and call my good friend Ryan and vegetate. I let go of my guilt about cheating ( I smoked two cigarettes today and enjoyed them more than I should have, though I will be strong and return to being smoke-free tomorrow). My concerns about why the boy is not interested (he told me he didn't know if he was or wasn't which means he isn't and that's disappointing....... It hurts, but I will survive, as long as we remain friends he is pretty interesting guy to talk to). My overwhelming guilt about my health and how lax I have been with doctors appointments ( I was supposed to go for bloodwork MONTHS ago). My troublesome thoughts about some of my friends (here and away) I know they are all grown adults but some of them do the silliest things and do NOT take proper care of themselves.
The sky is clearer and much more immense, the stars shine brighter, the air seems so much more crisp and cleaner here. I feel safe, relaxed and care-free, (even if this house is slightly haunted). It is magical and mysterious I love it so.
Song: Out on the Mira
Written by: Allister MacGillivray
How true it is though..... I was on my way to my parents place tonight at about 1:30 am and I had a million thoughts flying through my head, about my life, my friends, my job, my car, my family, my health, my living arrangements, my addiction to nicotine........... and then I rounded the turn with all the reflectors....... and it settled over me gently........
CALM
I felt instantly at ease, the muddled thoughts drifted from my mind and I thought why am I worried about all this bullshit now why don't I just go home chat a bit and call my good friend Ryan and vegetate. I let go of my guilt about cheating ( I smoked two cigarettes today and enjoyed them more than I should have, though I will be strong and return to being smoke-free tomorrow). My concerns about why the boy is not interested (he told me he didn't know if he was or wasn't which means he isn't and that's disappointing....... It hurts, but I will survive, as long as we remain friends he is pretty interesting guy to talk to). My overwhelming guilt about my health and how lax I have been with doctors appointments ( I was supposed to go for bloodwork MONTHS ago). My troublesome thoughts about some of my friends (here and away) I know they are all grown adults but some of them do the silliest things and do NOT take proper care of themselves.
The sky is clearer and much more immense, the stars shine brighter, the air seems so much more crisp and cleaner here. I feel safe, relaxed and care-free, (even if this house is slightly haunted). It is magical and mysterious I love it so.
