Saturday, September 13, 2003
What to write..........
I want to write something. my fingers are itching to write something...........but the thing is my brain has not decided what just yet........... Do I want to talk about last night................ no not really................ do I want to talk about awkward phone call at 5:30 am on Friday morning.... no not really............ do I want to talk about the drama.. fuck no............. maybe I want to write about all the great decisions I have made lately................. but I haven't decided on anything................ do I want to say horrible things about my brother because I am working for him........... no not really cause I love him (I know that irritates him more than anything bad I could say about him).
So here I sit.............in idle project............. because my night is going to be stressful........... I am pulling the weight for my team tonight........... since none of us usually work on Saturdays..............and the ones that do are newbies, so I am expected to fix someone's 23 min AHT by having a 6 min AHT should be interesting............. so here I sit blogging at 7 pm waiting for lunch to hit at 7:30 so I can go pick up my car.................... I HATE drinking and driving.....matter of fact I DESPISE drinking and driving......... I will not be a part of it........... That tale will be told next month.........
Some of my friends have been re-evaluating their lives, all over the place, friends moving, going to school, changing jobs, changing relationships, changing personalities.................. and I feel so lucky that I know who I am and where I am going..... maybe I am too comfortable with myself........... I know when my bad days are coming so I avoid certain people...... I know when I am going to drink to much and get emotional so I hide......... I know when I am going to drink and excessive amount of alcohol to make a statement that terrifies me to admit sober...........
One of my friends is the most unique person you will ever meet..... she is a sweetheart and from her appearance you would think she was terribly out-going, and tough........... but she isn't; she is shy, timid and very soft................ especially when it comes to boys............. I am very blunt, honest and I speak my mind alot I am not usually afraid to speak my mind............. except when it comes to boys.............. that why I make friends.....then date..........then there might be a possibility of a relationship, but nothing is ever set in stone, (since I am afraid of commitment, to an extent(okay that was a lie, i am totally afraid of getting into a serious relationship and settling down and falling in love, having a hundred kids and owning a house, i enjoy my freedom) yet I always manage to find relationships when i just want friends)) Now back to my friend.............. I never realized how alike we were till the last week, when I made a startling discovery......... and become a nervous, timid freak............ I was second guessing myself............ then a phone call really knocked everything out of whack............ and another phone call made my life. well slightly complicated......... and then festivities and social engagements made me realize....................... I like a boy! I say it like I am twelve cause I kinda sort of feel that way right now............ I am timid and shy about it. I will shut up now..... we shall see what turns the path ahead has...................... I have a tendency to step off the path and lay in the bushes when I get like this.............................. hehehehe............. btw brownie points for not being weird today...much appreciated!
So here I sit.............in idle project............. because my night is going to be stressful........... I am pulling the weight for my team tonight........... since none of us usually work on Saturdays..............and the ones that do are newbies, so I am expected to fix someone's 23 min AHT by having a 6 min AHT should be interesting............. so here I sit blogging at 7 pm waiting for lunch to hit at 7:30 so I can go pick up my car.................... I HATE drinking and driving.....matter of fact I DESPISE drinking and driving......... I will not be a part of it........... That tale will be told next month.........
Some of my friends have been re-evaluating their lives, all over the place, friends moving, going to school, changing jobs, changing relationships, changing personalities.................. and I feel so lucky that I know who I am and where I am going..... maybe I am too comfortable with myself........... I know when my bad days are coming so I avoid certain people...... I know when I am going to drink to much and get emotional so I hide......... I know when I am going to drink and excessive amount of alcohol to make a statement that terrifies me to admit sober...........
One of my friends is the most unique person you will ever meet..... she is a sweetheart and from her appearance you would think she was terribly out-going, and tough........... but she isn't; she is shy, timid and very soft................ especially when it comes to boys............. I am very blunt, honest and I speak my mind alot I am not usually afraid to speak my mind............. except when it comes to boys.............. that why I make friends.....then date..........then there might be a possibility of a relationship, but nothing is ever set in stone, (since I am afraid of commitment, to an extent(okay that was a lie, i am totally afraid of getting into a serious relationship and settling down and falling in love, having a hundred kids and owning a house, i enjoy my freedom) yet I always manage to find relationships when i just want friends)) Now back to my friend.............. I never realized how alike we were till the last week, when I made a startling discovery......... and become a nervous, timid freak............ I was second guessing myself............ then a phone call really knocked everything out of whack............ and another phone call made my life. well slightly complicated......... and then festivities and social engagements made me realize....................... I like a boy! I say it like I am twelve cause I kinda sort of feel that way right now............ I am timid and shy about it. I will shut up now..... we shall see what turns the path ahead has...................... I have a tendency to step off the path and lay in the bushes when I get like this.............................. hehehehe............. btw brownie points for not being weird today...much appreciated!
